Race Is On My Mind-Race(2008)

Zara Zara Touch me (Full Song From The Movie Race 2008)

The Life of Buddha

Gautama Buddha, the historical Buddha, lived between 563 and 483 BC in the area known now as the Indo-Nepalese region. As a bodhisattva, he had passed through thousands of existences before coming to Earth for his ultimate transmigration.

This last lifetime he began as a son of the King of the realm Sakya, Sudhodana, who ruled at Kapilavastu, in Ancient India on the border of present-day Nepal, and was born in a village called Lumbini into the warrior tribe called the Sakyas (from where he derived the title Sakyamuni, meaning "Sage of the Sakyas").

According to ancient tradition, Queen Maya, his mother, first had a dream of a beautiful white elephant coming down into her womb, and this was interpreted as a sign that the Buddha, or a universal emperor, was about to be born. When her time came, Queen Maya went into the garden and gave painless birth to the bodhisattva. He immediately walked, spoke, and was received by Brahma.

Five days after his birth, the young prince received the name of Siddhartha. When his parents took him to the temple, the statues of the gods prostrated themselves before him, great were the rejoicings of the people over the birth of this illustrious prince. Also at this time a devout old man named Asita came down from the Himalayas to meet the newborn prince. An ascetic of high spiritual attainments, Asita was particularly pleased to hear this happy news. Having been a tutor to the King, he visited the palace to see the royal baby. The king, who felt honoured by his unexpected visit, carried the child up to him in order to make the child pay him due reverence. To the surprise of all, the child's legs turned and rested on the matted locks of the ascetic.

Instantly, the ascetic rose from his seat and recognizing in the young child the 80 signs that are pledges to a highly religious vocation, and foreseeing with his supernormal vision the child's future greatness, saluted him with clasped hands. The Royal father did likewise. The great ascetic smiled at first and then was sad. Questioned regarding his mingled feelings, he answered that he smiled because the prince would eventually become a Buddha, an Enlightened One, and he was sad because he would not be able to benefit from the superior wisdom of the Enlightened One owing to his prior death and rebirth in a Formless Plane.

After seven days Queen Maya died, and her place as mother was taken by her sister, whose devotion and love became legendary.

When the young prince was in his twelfth year, the king called the wise Brahmans in council. They revealed that Siddhartha would devote himself to asceticism if he cast his eyes on age, sickness, or death ~ and, if he were to meet a hermit.

Wanting his son to be a universal monarch instead, the king surrounded the palace with a triple enclosure and guard and proclaimed that the use of the words death and grief were forbidden. The most beautiful princess in the land, Yasodhara, was found for his bride, and after Siddhartha proved himself in many tournaments calling for strength and prowess, when he was 16, the two were wed.

Siddhartha was kept amused and entertained for some time by this privileged life behind the palace walls until one day his divine vocation awoke in him, and he decided to visit the nearby town. The king called for everything to be swept and decorated, and any ugly or sad sight to be removed. But these precautions were in vain for while Siddhartha was travelling through the streets, an old wrinkled man appeared before him. In astonishment the young prince learned that decrepitude is the fate of those who live life through. Still later he met an incurable invalid and then a funeral procession. Finally heaven placed in his path an ascetic, a beggar, who told Siddhartha that he had left the world to pass beyond suffering and joy, to attain peace at heart.

Confirmed in his meditation, all these experiences awakened in Siddhartha the idea of abandoning his present life and embracing asceticism. He opened his heart to his father and said, "Everything in the world is changing and transitory. Let me go off alone like the religious beggar."

Grief-stricken at the idea of losing his son, the king doubled the guard around the walls and increased the pleasures and distractions within. And at this point, Yasodhara bore him a son whom he called Rahula (meaning "chain" or "fetter"), a name that indicated Gautama's sense of dissatisfaction with his life of luxury, while the birth of his son evoked in him much tenderness. His apparent sense of dissatisfaction turned to disillusion when he saw three things from the window of his palace, each of which represented different forms human suffering: a decrepit old man, a diseased man, and a corpse.Yet even this could not stop the troubling thoughts in his heart or close his eyes to the realizations of the impermanence of all life, and of the vanity and instability of all objects of desire.

His mind made up, he awoke one night and, casting one last look at his wife and child, mounted his horse Kataka and rode off accompanied by his equerry Chandaka. At the city gates Siddhartha turned over his horse to Chandaka, then he cut off his hair, gave up his sumptuous robes, and entered a hermitage where the Brahmans accepted him as a disciple. Siddhartha had now and forever disappeared. He became the monk Gautama, or as he is still called, Sakyamuni, the ascetic of the Sakyas.

For many years Gautama studied the doctrines until, having felt the need to learn more elsewhere, he traveled and fasted. His two teachers had showed him how to reach very deep states of meditation (samadhi). This did not, however, lead to a sense of true knowledge or peace, and the practice of deep meditation was abandoned in favour of a life of extreme asceticism which he shared with five companions. But again, after five or six years of self-mortification, Siddhartha felt he had failed to achieve true insight and rejected such practices as dangerous and useless.

Resolved to continue his quest, Siddharta made his way to a deer park at Isipatana, near present day Benares. Here he sat beneath a tree meditating on death and rebirth. Discovering that excessive fasts destroy strength, he learned that as he had transcended earthly life, so must he next transcend asceticism. Alone and weak, he sat beneath the sacred Bodhi tree of wisdom, and swore to die before arising without the wisdom he sought.

Mara, the demon, fearful of Gautama's power, sent his three beautiful daughters to distract him. When that failed, Mara sent an army of devils to destroy him. Finally Mara attacked Gautama with a terrible weapon capable of cleaving a mountain. But all this was useless, and the motionless monk sat in meditation.

It was here that Siddharta attained a knowledge of the way things really are; it was through this knowledge that he acquired the title Buddha (meaning "awakened one"). This awakening was achieved during a night of meditation, which passed through various stages as the illumination that Gautama had sought slowly welled up in his heart. He knew the exact condition of all beings and the causes of their rebirths. He saw beings live, die and transmigrate. In meditating on human pain, he was enlightened about both its genesis and the means of destroying it.

In this first stage he saw each of his previous existences, and then understood the chain of cause and effect. In the second he surveyed the death and rebirth of all living beings and understood the law that governs the cycle of birth and death. In the third he identified the Four Noble Truths: the universality of suffering, the cause of suffering through selfish desire, the solution to suffering and the way to overcome suffering. This final point is called the Noble Eightfold Path, this being eight steps consisting of wisdom (right views, right intention) ethics (right speech, right action, right livelihood), mental discipline (right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration), which ultimately lead to liberation from the source of suffering.

When day came, Gautama had attained perfect illumination, and had become a Buddha. The rays emanating from his body shone to the boundaries of space. He stayed in meditation for seven more days, and then for four more weeks he stayed by the tree. Through his process of enlightenment he discovered that all sentient beings in this universal life possess buddhahold, and all are future potential buddhas.

From that time he had two alternate paths: he could enter Nirvana immediately, or else he could stay and spread enlightenment. After Brahma came in person to beg him to preach the law, Buddha yielded and stayed on the earth. For many years he traveled and taught his wisdom about the force of love and the destruction of all desire.

Although initially hesitant to share his insight on the grounds that humanity might not be ready for such a teaching, the Buddha decided to communicate his discovery to those willing to listen. His first converts were the five ascetics with whom he had lived when he himself followed the lifestyle of the ascetic. To these he preached his first sermon in the Deer Park at Benares, outlining to them the Four Noble Truths. Out of this small group the community of monks (or Sangha) grew to about 60 in size and came to include Buddha's cousin, Ananda, and his son, Rahula. Later the Buddha was persuaded by his stepmother and cousin to accept women into the sangha.

The remaining 45 years of the Buddha's life were spent journeying around the plain of the Ganges, teaching and receiving visitors.

"There are two extremes which are to be avoided: a life of pleasure ~ this is low and ignoble, unworthy and useless, and runs counter to the affairs of the spirit; and a life of fasting ~ this is sad, unworthy and useless. Perfection has kept its distance from these two extremes, and has found the middle way which leads to repose, knowledge, illumination, and Nirvana. So here is the sacred truth about pain: birth, old age, sickness, death, and separation from that which one loves, are pain. And this is the origin of pain: it is thirst for pleasure, thirst for existence, thirst for impermanence. And here is the truth about the suppression of pain: it is the extinction of that thirst by the destruction of desire.

"Charity, knowledge and virtue are possessions that cannot be lost. To do a little good is worth more than accomplishing works of a difficult nature. The perfect man is nothing unless he pours out kindness on his fellow creatures, unless he consoles the abandoned. My doctrine is a doctrine of mercy. The way of salvation is open to all. Destroy your passions as the elephant would trample down a reed hut. But I would have you know that it is a mistaken idea to believe that one can escape from one's passions by taking shelter in hermitages. The only remedy against evil is healthy reality."

And so Buddha travelled and preached. He performed many miracles, and converted his family and many followers. During his life the Buddha had taught that no one was to succeed him as leader of the Sangha. Instead, his followers were to take his teaching and rule as their sole guides. By the time he reached the age of 80, Sakyamuni began to feel old. He visited all of the monasteries he had founded and prepared to meet his end.

Before the Buddha's death, he became severely sick. He journeyed northwest to the banks of the river Hiranyavati, walking with his disciples, and ate the food offered by a blacksmith. His illness had progresses, and at the end, he came to the river and took a bath. Then he made a rope bed among eight sal trees, with each direction having two. He lay down on his side, right hand supporting his head, the other resting on his body. All later reclining Buddhas (called Buddha's Nirvana) are in the same posture.

The Buddha's disciples kept watch on him after they were told the Buddha was going to nirvana. At night, a scholar of Brahman went to see the Buddha, but was stopped by the Buddha's disciple Ananda. Hearing this, the Buddha called the scholar Subhadda to his bed and spoke him. Thus the scholar became the Buddha's last disciple. The final exhortation of the Buddha to his disciples was that they should not be sorry for losing their tutor. (See the last sermon of the Buddha for further elaboration.)

Growing weaker, he spoke one last time: "Do not say we have no master now. The doctrine I have preached will be your master when I have disappeared. Listen, I beg you: ALL CREATIONS ARE IMPERMANENT; work diligently for your liberation."

Having pronounced these final words, Buddha went into the jhana stages, or meditative absorptions. Going from level to level, one after the other, ever deeper and deeper, he reached ecstacy. Then he came out of the meditative absorption for the last time and passed into nirvana, leaving nothing whatever behind that can cause rebirth again in this or any other world.and finally passed into Nirvana.

After his death, Buddha's remains were cremated, as became the Buddhist tradition. The passing away, or the final nirvana, of the Buddha occurred in 483 BC on a full moon day in the month of May, known in the Indian calendar as Wesak.

Malaysia Truely ASIA

The Origins of the Malays

Monday, 21 January 2008 21:54

Prepared By Michael Chick It's been interesting to read such free-flowing comments on the subject of the Origins of the Malays. While we are on the subject, how many of you have read the book entitled "Contesting Malayness - Malay Identity Across Boundaries" Edited by Timothy P. Barnard published by Singapore University Press Written by a Professor of National University of Singapore. It reflects the Anthropologists views that there is no such race as the "Malays" to begin with. If we follow the original migration of the Southern Chinese of 6,000yrs ago, they moved into Taiwan, (now the Alisan), then into the Phillipines (now the Aeta) and moved into Borneo (4,500yrs ago) (Dayak). They also split into Sulawesi and progressed into Jawa, and Sumatera. The final migration was to the Malayan Peninsular 3,000yrs ago. A sub-group from Borneo also moved to Champa in Vietnam at 4,500yrs ago. Interestingly, the Champa deviant group moved back to present day Kelantan. There are also traces of the Dong Song and HoaBinh migration from Vietnam and Cambodia. To confuse the issue, there was also the Southern Thai migration, from what we know as Pattani today. (see also "Early Kingdoms of the Indonesian Archipelago and the Malay Peninsular") Of course, we also have the Minangkabau's which come from the descendants of Alexander the Great and a West Indian Princess. (Sejarah Melayu page 1-3) So the million Dollar Question... Is there really a race called the "Malays"? All anthropologists DO NOT SEEM TO THINK SO. (strangely, this includes all Malay Malaysian Anthropologists who are of the same opinion.) Neither do the "Malays" who live on the West Coast of Johor. They'd rather be called Javanese. What about the west coast Kedah inhabitants who prefer to be known as "Achenese"? or the Ibans who simply want to be known as IBANS. Try calling a Kelabit a "Malay" and see what response you get... you’ll be so glad that their Head-Hunting days are over. In an article in the Star, dated: Dec 3rd 2006 available for on-line viewing at: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/12/3/focus/16212814&sec=focus An excerp is reproduced here below: "The Malays – taken as an aggregation of people of different ethnic backgrounds but who speak the same language or family of languages and share common cultural and traditional ties – are essentially a new race, compared to the Chinese, Indians and the Arabs with their long histories of quests and conquests. The Malay nation, therefore, covers people of various ethnic stock, including Javanese, Bugis, Bawean, Achehnese, Thai, Orang Asli, the indigenous people of Sabah and Sarawak and descendants of Indian Muslims who had married local women. Beneath these variations, however, there is a common steely core that is bent on changing the Malay persona from its perceived lethargic character to one that is brave, bold and ready to take on the world. " The definition of “Malay” is therefore simply a collection of people's who speak a similar type language. With what is meant by a similar type language does not mean that the words are similar. (A native Kelantanese native speaker has no clue whatsoever what his Iban native brother is talking about; if both speak their own dialect) Linguists however, call this the "Lego-Type" language, where words are added on to the root word to make meaning and give tenses and such. Somehow, the Indonesians disagree with this "Malay" classification and insist instead on being called "Indonesians" even though the majority of "Malays" have their roots in parts of Indonesia. They refuse to be called "Malay"…. Anyhow you may define it. The writer failed to identify (probably didn't know), that the "Malay" definition also includes, the Champa, Dong Song, HoabinHian, The Taiwanese Alisan and the Philippino Aetas. He also did not identify that the "Orang Asli" are (for lack of a better term) ex-Africans. If you try to call any one of our East Malaysian brothers an "Orang Asli", they WILL BEAT YOU UP! I had to repeat this because almost all West Malaysians make the same mistake when we cross the South China Sea. Worse, somehow, they feel even more insulted when you call them “Malay”. Somehow, “kurang ajar” is uttered below their breath as if “Malay” was a really bad word for them. I’m still trying to figure this one out. Watch “Malays in Africa”; a Museum Negara produced DVD. Also, the “Champa Malays” by the same. With this classification, they MUST also include the Phillipinos, the Papua New Guineans, the Australian Aboroginies, as well as the Polynesian Aboroginies. These are of the Australo Melanesians who migrated out of Africa 60,000yrs ago. Getting interesting? Read on... "Malay" should also include the Taiwanese singer "Ah Mei" who is Alisan as her tribe are the anscestors of the "Malays". And finally, you will need to define the Southern Chinese (Southern Province) as Malay also, since they are from the same stock 6,000yrs ago. Try calling the Bugis a "Malay". Interestingly, the Bugis, who predominantly live on Sulawesi are not even Indonesians. Neither do they fall into the same group as the migrating Southern Chinese of 6,000yrs ago nor the Australo Melanesian group from Africa. Ready for this? The Bugis are the cross-breed between the Mongolian Chinese and the marauding Arab Pirates. Interestingly, the Bugis, (just like their Arabic ancestors) were career Pirates in the Johor-Riau Island areas. Now the nephew of Daeng Kemboja was appointed as the First Sultan of Selangor. That makes the entire Selangor Sultanate part Arab, part Chinese! Try talking to the Bugis Museum curator near Kukup in Johor. Kukup is located near the most south-western tip of Johor. (Due south of Pontian Kechil) He is more than willing to expound on the Bugis heritage. Buy him lunch and he can talk for days on end. Let's not even get into the Hang Tuah, Hang Jebat, Hang Kasturi, Hang Lekiu, and Hang Lekir, who shared the same family last name as the other super famous "Hang" family member... Hang Li Poh. And who was she? Legend tells us that she is the Princess of a Ming Dynasty Emperor who was sent to marry the Sultan of Malacca. Won't that make the entire Malacca Sultanate downline "Baba"? Since the older son of the collapsed Malaccan Sultanate got killed in Johor, (the current Sultanate is the downline of the then, Bendahara) the only other son became the Sultan of Perak. Do we see any Chinese-ness in Raja Azlan? Is he the descendant of Hang Li Poh? But wait a minute.... That's what legend says. Let's look at the proof. The solid evidence. There is a well next to the Zheng He Temple in Malacca which is supposed to be the well built by the Sultan of Malacca for Hang Li Poh. According to legend, anyone who drinks of it shall re-visit Malacca before they die. Hmmm smells like a romantic fairy tale already. But let's look at who Hang Li Poh actually is. Which Ming Emperor was she a daughter to? So I got into researching the entire list of Ming Emperors. Guess what? Not a single Ming Emperor's last name begins with Hang. In fact, all their last names begin with Tzu (pronounced Choo). So who is Hang Li Poh? An Extra Concubine? A Spare Handmaiden? Who knows? But one thing for certain, is that she was no daughter of any of the Ming Emperors. Gone is the romantic notion of the Sultan of Malacca marrying an exotic Chinese Princess. Sorry guys, the Sultan married an unidentified Chinese commoner. Next question. If the Baba’s are part Malay, why have they been marginalized by NOT BEING BUMIPUTERA? Which part of “Malay” are they not? Whatever the answer, why then are the Portugese of Malacca BUMIPUTERA? Did they not come 100yrs AFTER the arrival of the first Baba’s? Parameswara founded Malacca in 1411. The Portugese came in 1511, and the Dutch in the 1600’s. Strangely, the Baba’s were in fact once classified a Bumiputera, but some Prime Minister decreed that they were to be strangely “declassified” in the 1960’s. WHY? How can a "native son of the soil" degenerate into an "un-son"? The new classification is "pendatang" meaning a migrant to describe the Baba's and Nyonyas. Wait a minute, isn't EVERYONE on the Peninsular a migrant to begin with? How can the government discriminate? Does the Malaysian Government have amnesia? The Sultan of Kelantan had similar roots to the Pattani Kingdom making him of Thai origin. And what is this "coffee table book" by the Sultan of Perlis claiming to be the direct descendant of the prophet Muhammed? Somehow we see Prof Khoo Khay Khim’s signature name on the book. I’ll pay good money to own a copy of it myself. Anyone has a spare? In pursuing this thread, and having looked at the history of Prophet Muhammed (BTW, real name Ahmad) we couldn't figure out which descendant line The Sultan of Perlis was. Perhaps it was by the name Syed, which transcended. Then we tried to locate which downline did the Sultan descend from of the 13 Official Wives of Prophet Muhammad named in the Holy Koran? Or was the Sultan of Perlis a descendant from the other 23 non-wives? Of the 13 Official Wives were (at least known) 3 Israeli women. Then you should come to this instant revelation, isn't Prophet Muhammad an Israeli himself? Yes, the answer is clear. All descendants of Moses are Israeli. In fact, the Holy Koran teaches that Moses was the First Muslim. Thus confirming all the descendants of Moses to be Israeli, including Jesus and Prophet Muhammad. But since this is not a Religious or a Theological discussion, let's move on to a more anthropological approach. So, how many of you have met with the Orang Asli’s (Malaysian Natives)? The more northern you go, the more African they look. Why are they called Negrito’s? It is a Spanish word, from which directly transalates “mini Negros”. The more southern you go, the more “Indonesian” they look. And the ones who live at Cameron Highlands kinda look 50-50. You can see the Batek at Taman Negara, who really look like Eddie Murphy to a certain degree. Or the Negritos who live at the Thai border near Temenggor Lake (north Perak). The Mah Meri in Carrie Island look almost like the Jakuns in Endau Rompin. Half African, half Indonesian. Strangely the natives in Borneo all look rather Chinese in terms of features and facial characteristics especially the Kelabits in Bario. By definition, (this is super eye-opening) there was a Hindu-Malay Empire in Kedah. Yes, I said right… The Malays were Hindu (just like the gentle Balinese of today). It was known by its’ old name, Langkasuka. Today known as Lembah Bujang. This Hindu-Malay Empire was 2,000yrs old. Pre-dating Borrobudor AND Angkor Watt. Who came about around 500-600yrs later. Lembah Bujang was THE mighty trading Empire, and its biggest influence was by the Indians who were here to help start it. By definition, this should make the Indians BUMIPUTERAS too since they were here 2,000yrs ago! Why are they marginalized? The Malaysian Government now has a serious case of Alzheimer's. Why? Simply because, they would accord the next Indonesian who tomorrow swims across the Straits of Malacca and bestow upon him with the apparently "prestigious title" of the Bumiputra status alongside others who imply have inhabited this land for hundreds of centuries. (prestigious, at least perceived by Malays) They also have a strange saying called "Ketuanan Melayu" which literally transalates into "The Lordship of Malays" The Malays still cannot identify till this day "who" or "what" the Malays have "Lordship" over. And they celebrate it gallantly and triumphantly by waving the Keris (wavy knife which has Hindu origins in Borrobudor. Ganesan is seen brandishing the Keris in a bass-relief sculpture.) during public meetings over National TV much like a Pagan Wicca Ceremony on Steroids. Let's all wait for that official press release to see who the "Malays" have Lordship over, shall we? Of the 3 books listed, "Contesting Malayness" (about S$32 for soft cover) is "banned” in Malaysia; you will need to "smuggle" it into Malaysia; for very obvious reasons.... :( or read it in Singapore if you don’t feel like breaking the law. Incidentally, the Professor (Author) was invited to speak on this very subject circa 2 yrs ago, in KL, invited by the MBRAS. You can imagine the "chaos" this seminar created... :( Fortunately the FRU was not called in. The other, "Kingdoms of the Indonesian Archipelago, and the Malay Peninsular" (about RM84) are openly sold at all leading bookshops; Kinokuniya, MPH, Borders, Popular, Times, etc. You should be able to find a fair bit of what I’ve been quoting in this book too, but mind you, it is extremely heavy reading material, and you will find yourself struggling through the initial 200+ pages. It is extremely technical in nature. Maybe that’s why it hasn’t been banned (yet)…coz our authorities couldn’t make head or tail of it? (FYI, if I weren’t doing research for my film, I wouldn’t have read it in its entirety) The "Sejarah Melayu" (about RM 50) however, is freely available at the University Malaya bookshop. I have both the English and Royal Malay version published by MBRAS. Alternatively, you could try reading the Jawi (Arabic Script) version if you are truly a sucker for unimaginable pain...... (may feel like circumcision) There are actually many sources for these Origins of Malays findings. Any older Philippino Museum Journal also carries these migration stories. This migration is also on display at the Philippines National Museum in Luzon. However, they end with the Aeta, and only briefly mention that the migration continued to Indonesia and Malaysia, but fully acknowledge that all Philippinos came from Taiwan. And before Taiwan, China. There is another book (part of a series) called the "Archipelago Series" endorsed by Tun Mahatir and Marina Mohammad, which states the very same thing right at the introduction on page one. “… that the Malays migrated out of Southern China some 6,000yrs ago…”. I believe it is called the “Pre-History of Malaysia” Hard Cover, about RM99 found in (mostly) MPH. They also carry “Pre-History of Indonesia” by the same authors for the same price. It is most interesting to note that the Malaysian Museum officials gallantly invented brand new unheard-of terms such as "Proto-Malay" and "Deutero-Malay", to replace the accepted Scientific Term, Australo-Melanesians (African descent) and Austronesians (Chinese Descent, or Mongoloid to be precise) in keeping in line with creating this new “Malay” term.. They also created the new term called the Melayu-Polynesian. (Which Melayu exists in the Polynesian Islands?) Maybe they were just trying to be “Patriotic” and “Nationalistic”… who knows…? After all, we also invented the term, “Malaysian Time”. While the rest of the world calls it “Tardy” and “Late”. It’s quite an embarrassment actually…. Singaporeans crossing the border are asked to set their watches back by about a 100yrs, to adjust to “Malaysian Time”… In a nutshell, the British Colonial Masters, who, for lack of a better description, needed a “blanket” category for ease of classification, used the term “Malay”. The only other logical explanation, which I have heard, was that “Malaya” came as a derivative of “Himalaya”, where at Langkasuka, or Lembah Bujang today was where the Indians were describing the locals as “Malai” which means “Hill People” in Tamil. This made perfect sense as the focal point at that time was at Gunung Jerai, and the entire Peninsular had a “Mountain Range” “Banjaran Titiwangsa”, as we call it. The Mandarin and Cantonese accurately maintain the accurate pronunciation of “Malai Ren” and “Malai Yun” respectively till this very day. Where “ren” and “yun” both mean “peoples”. Interestingly, “Kadar” and “Kidara”, Hindi and Sanskrit words accurately describe “Kedah” of today. They both mean “fertile Land for Rice cultivation. Again, a name given by the Indians 2,000yrs ago during the “Golden Hindu Era” for a duration of 1,500yrs. It was during this “Golden Hindu Era” that the new term which the Hindu Malay leaders also adopted the titles, “Sultan” and “Raja”. The Malay Royalty were Hindu at that time, as all of Southeast Asia was under strong Indian influence, including Borrobudor, and Angkor Watt. Bali today still practices devout Hindu Beliefs. The snake amulet worn by the Sultans of today, The Royal Dias, and even the “Pelamin” for weddings are tell-tale signs of these strong Indian influences. So, it was NOT Parameswara who was the first Sultan in Malaya. Sultanage existed approximately 1,500yrs in Kedah before he set foot on the Peninsular during the "Golden Hindu Era" of Malaysia. And they were all Hindu. “PreHistory of Malaysia” also talks about the “Lost Kingdom” of the “Chi-Tu” where the local Malay Kingdom were Buddhists. The rest of the “Malays” were Animistic Pagans. But you may say, "Sejarah Melayu" calls it "Melayu"? Yes, it does. Read it again; is it trying to describe the 200-odd population hamlet near Palembang by the name "Melayu"?(Google Earth will show this village). By that same definition, then, the Achehnese should be considered a “race”. So should the Bugis and the Bataks, to be fair. Orang Acheh, Orang Bugis, Orang Laut, Orang Melayu now mean the same… descriptions of ethnic tribes, at best. So some apparently Patriotic peron decided to upgrade the Malays from Orang Melayu (Malay People) to Bangsa Melayu (Malay Race) Good job in helping perpetuate the confusion. And since the “Malays” of today are not all descendants of the “Melayu” kampung in Jambi (if I remember correctly), the term Melayu has been wrongly termed. From Day One. Maybe this is why the Johoreans still insist on calling themselves either Bugis, or Javanese til today (except when it comes to receiving Government Handouts). So do the Achehnese on the West coast of Kedah & Perlis and the Kelantanese insist that they came from Champa, Vietnam. Moreover, the fact that the first 3 pages of "Sejarah Melayu" claim that "Melayu" comes from Alexander the Great and the West Indian Princess doesn't help. More importantly, it was written in 1623. By then, the Indians had been calling the locals “Malai” for 1,500 yrs already. So the name stuck…. And with the Sejarah Melayu (The Malay Annals in page 1-3) naming the grandson of Iskandar Zulkarnain, and the West Indian Princess forming the Minangkabau. Whenever a Malay is asked about it, he usually says it is "Karut" (bullshit), but all Malayan based historians insist on using Sejarah Melayu as THE main reference book for which "Malay" history is based upon. The only other books are “Misa Melayu”, "Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa", "Hikayat Pasai", "Hikayat Raja-Raja Siak" and “Hikayat Hang Tuah” among others; which sometimes brings up long and “heated” discussions. Interesting to note is one of the great "Malay" writers is called Munsyi Abdullah; who penned "Hikayat Abdullah" He was an Indian Muslim. Let's re-read that little bit. He was an Indian Muslim. How can an Indian change his race to be a Malay? He can change his shirt, his car, his religion and even his underwear, but how can anyone change his race? This must be The New Trick of the Century, which even David Copperfield will pay lots of money to watch (and perhaps learn). "Mysterious Race Changing Trick"- created by The Malaysian Government. Still, Malaysians are still only second to the Jews (who by the way, are the only other people in the world who are defined by a religion) So perhaps David Copperfield has yet to learn a few tricks on the mass deception skills of the Malaysian Government? Malaysia Boleh... I find this strange. I also find, that it is strange that the "Chitti's" (Indian+Malay) of Malacca are categorized as Bumiputera, while their Baba brothers are not. Why? Both existed during the Parameswara days. Which part of the “Malay” side of the Baba’s is not good enough for Bumiputera classification? Re-instate them. They used to be Bumiputera pre 1960’s anyway. Instead of "Malay", I believe that "Maphilindo" (circa 1963) would have been the closest in accurately trying to describe the Malays. However, going by that definition, it should most accurately be "MaphilindoThaiChinDiaVietWanGreekCamfrica". And it is because of this; even our University Malaya Anthropology professors cannot look at you in the eye and truthfully say that the word "Malay" technically and accurately defines a race. This is most unfortunate. So, in a nutshell, the “Malays” (anthropologists will disagree with this “race” definition) are TRULY ASIA !!! For once the Tourism Ministry got it right…. We should stop calling this country “Tanah Melayu” instead call it, “Tanah Truly Asia” You must understand now, why I was "tickled pink" when I found out that the Visit Malaysia slogan for 2007 was "Truly Asia". They are so correct... (even though they missed out Greece, and Africa) BTW, the name UMNO should be changed to UTANO the new official acronym for “United Truly Asia National Organization” . After all, they started out as a Bugis club in Johor anyway…. I told you all that I hate race classifications…. This is so depressing. Even more depressing is that the "malays" are not even a race; not since day one. “Truly Asia Boleh”

Well i was going thru a page which contains poem and i found out that, one of my lecturer wrote these two amazing poems and i would like to share with u guys..

From Death to Birth:

Have you ever experienced the pain and pleasure of Birth?
Though it is painful
Accepted and deliveries are continuing!!
Every life starts with pains and expectations
Only YOU make the life meaningful
Weather worries or wonders left to you
If the Sun is not there, moon will substitute. . ..
The Moon is not there, Stars will substitute. . .
Stars are not there, you are there to find an alternate!!
Every walk in your life will decide your future
Don't save only money for your future. . ...
Save good people,hearts,habits,attit

udes love,
They will come up to your death and grow after it
Beyond death there is a life an eternal life
Which you can achieve by Love and affection
By surrendering to the GOD
Not to follow any religious measures but to
Think, plan, do, check and act
For right things in a right way at a right place

Sivaramakrishnan Sudhakaran

Live for the Love
Inspired ever...
Expired never.
Touches of the love
Things of glamour
Senses of affection
Smells of flowers
ever green enjoyments.....
Let us live for the love
Not only for this...
Ever lasting understanding
Never loosing tolerance
Foresight of forgiveness
Insight of situations
Excite of emotions
Sharing with dedication
Caring with devotion
Enchanting Love
with uncomparable care
so let us LIVE for the LOVE

Sivaramakrishnan Sudhakaran

India is 'thailand' to Asia, say scientists

India is 'thailand' to Asia, say scientists
By Raja Murthy

MUMBAI - Since "thai" means "mother" in classical Tamil, the language of the south Indian state of Tamil Nadu and said to be the oldest living language in the world, "thailand" means motherland. However, India could be an ancient "motherland" of Thailand and Asia in a more literal sense, according to a new investigative study, "'Mapping Human Genetic Diversity in Asia".

The findings, from an unprecedented collaboration of over 80 researchers and 40 scientific institutions across Asia [1], reveal a twist in the history of human migration. It points to India, then Thailand and Southeast Asia, being the ancestral home to most Asians.

The paper, titled "Mapping Human Genetic Diversity in Asia", published in the Science journal issue of December 10, is the firstof its kind on Asian populations. Undertaken by the Singapore-based Human Genome Organization (HUGO), the study follows earlier multiple genetic studies on European populations.

The HUGO Pan-Asian SNP Consortium, as the project is called, overturns accepted knowledge that multiple migrations of populations directly went to East Asian countries from Africa, nearly a hundred thousand years ago.

According to the new study, Dravidians - the race of people who inhabit south India, including Tamils - could be a common ancestral link to most modern-day Asians.

The news would be an early mega Christmas gift to chauvinistic Dravidian political parties, such as the Dravida Munnetra Kazhalgam (DMK, or the Dravidian Progressive Party) and its 85-year-old chief, Muthuvel Karunanidhi, currently ruling Tamil Nadu.

Historically, Dravidians are considered India's original settlers. A more disputed theory says Dravidians were the original inhabitants of the Indus Valley civilization. Aryan invaders from Europe pushed them south of the Vindhaya Mountains into the Deccan Plateau in southern India, over 3,500 years ago.

But while the new HUGO study could support anthropological knowledge of Aryans invading India, the findings also say modern India shares a closer genetic ancestry with Europe than with Asia. "Most of the Indian populations showed evidence of shared ancestry with European populations," observed page four of the six-page report in Science.

"The current Indians received more genetic input from Aryan invasions which brought more Caucasian genes," says Dr Edison Liu, executive director at the Genome Institute of Singapore and president of HUGO. "So in fact, excluding modern-day Indians, there is clear indication that we are all genetically related in Asia."
Modern-day Indians, Liu says, would mean those in post-Aryan India. In effect, the new HUGO study could point to India having a large Eurasian population, like Russia.

"We have redefined the genetic history of Asian migration," declared Liu. "Previously, it was thought - because of archaeological, anthropological, and limited genetic data - that Asia was populated by two waves of migration. One wave was from Southeast Asia, called the Southern route, and the second from Central Asia, called the Northern route."

Liu informed Asia Times Online that the HUGO Pan-Asian SNP Consortium findings now point to a single wave of migration from Southeast Asia. "This places disparate ethnic groups like the Negritos [in the Philippines], Dayaks [in Borneo, Indonesia] etc. within the Asian fold," says Liu. "The reconstruction is out of Africa to India."

Caucasians and Asians were then divided, with the Caucasians moving to the Levant, or the Asian side of the Mediterranean Sea. The people wave continued to India, and then to Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia and Philippines. From Southeast Asia, settlers migrated to other parts of Asia, including China.

If the study is accurate, the Han Chinese - the single-largest ethnic group in Asia and in the world - have ancestral linkages to southern China, northern Thailand and earlier in India.

Sections of the Indian media highlighted the Chinese angle in the HUGO report. The Times of India, with a readership of 13.3 million, headlined its report as "Ancestors of Chinese came from India: Study". The Mumbai-based Daily News and Analysis went further, calling its report "The Chinese evolved from Indians: Study".

So do Chinese have Indian ancestors? "It is probably more correct to say that Dravidians [in southern India] and Chinese had common ancestors, than to say that Chinese ancestors originated in India," said Liu, who was born in Hong Kong and emigrated to the United States in 1957.

"What we are seeing is the transit of our ancestors in their travels out of Africa through India and into Southeast Asia and North Asia," Liu explained. "Along the way, they deposited progeny that later expanded, or contracted."

Benefits from the findings include unified health solutions across Asia. A common ancestral link enables clinical trials for medicines that would be applicable across a wider region. Liu has worked on leukemia and breast cancer research at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

"This research is also significant for furthering the research in medicine," Samir Brahmachari, director general of the New Delhi-based Indian Council of Scientific and Industrial Research, told Indian media.

"The findings have great potential for collaboration with these countries in finding treatment to many diseases like flu, HIV and other pandemics," said Brahmachari, who is also a member of the 18-person HUGO governing council, and a professor of molecular biophysics and genetic engineering.

"The paper not only presents a fantastic genotype database but also provides vital clues to scientists of diverse fields - from linguistics to archeology to human genetics," says Vikrant Kumar, a post doctoral fellow of the Genome Institute, Singapore, and an investigator in the study.

Kumar, who earned his doctorate from the University of Calcutta, calls this the only effort of its kind where 73 populations scattered across 10 Asian countries are studied together. About 2,000 samples covering almost the "entire spectrum of linguistic and ethnic diversity" were genotyped for about 50,000 single nucleotide polymorphic markers, [2] he said.

Apart from redefining the migratory origins of Asian people, the HUGO project marked a new high in pan-Asian scientific collaboration. "This study was very unusual," Liu says. "Perhaps the proudest achievement was that 10 Asian countries mounted this study on our own steam, funded and completed it internally, with each member working as equal partners."

Liu, whose academic career includes stints at Washington University, Stanford University, University of California and University of North Carolina, calls this study a "milestone not only in the science that emerged, but the consortium that was formed. We overcame shortage of funds and diverse operational constraints through partnerships, good will, and cultural sensitivity."

One of the hurdles was the disparity in technological access among the project team in various countries, with their varying access to expensive technologies. The problem was resolved by developing a host-guest structure, in which the technologically better off countries hosted working scientists with lesser technology access.

"We transferred technologies, expanded capabilities, forged friendships and now have an Asian scientific network of considerable worth," says Liu, a nice enough initial outcome of a project that found a common ancestral link to Asians.

Notes
1. Apart from over 80 individual researchers and scientists, the project involved 40 leading scientific organizations in Asia. It included Malaysia's Human Genome Center in Kelantan; India's Council for Scientific and Industrial Research in New Delhi; Thailand's National Center for Genetic Engineering and Biotechnology in Pathumtani; the Korean BioInformation Center in Deajeon; the University of Philippines in Manila; Taiwan's Institute of Biomedical Sciences; the Genome Institute of Singapore; Japan's National Institute of Genetics and the Chinese Academy of Medical Science.
2. A genetic marker, a gene or a known DNA sequence in a chromosome (a chromosome is a DNA unit found in cells), can be detected in the blood and are generally used to see if an individual or a group are vulnerable to a particular disease. A genetic marker may be a short DNA sequence (single nucleotide polymorphism or SNP), or a long DNA sequence.

The shorter SNP (pronounced snip) - used in this study - refers to a variation of genetic traits within an individual or a group. The study used 54,974 SNPs from 1928 persons representing 73 Asian populations. SNPs are the most frequent type of DNA variation. The HUGO study used the 'Affymetrix GeneChip Human Mapping 50K Xba Array' technology to analyze SNPs. The Affymetrix technology is available to scan SNPs of various densities, from 10,204 SNPs to a million.

50 interesting facts

1. If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side.

2. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

3. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

4. Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

5. The Mercedes-Benz motto is “Das Beste oder Nichts” meaning “the best or nothing”.

6. The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

7. The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

8. The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

9. Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

10. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

11. Dalmatians are born without spots.

12. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

13. The ‘v’ in the name of a court case does not stand for ‘versus’, but for ‘and’ (in civil proceedings) or ‘against’ (in criminal proceedings).

14. Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s shirts have the buttons on the left.

15. The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids.

16. The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee.

17. Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks.

18. The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones.

19. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die.

20. Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart.

21. The verb “cleave” is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.

22. When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red.

23. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red.

24. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor.

25. The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney.

26. Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros.

27. Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan.

28. It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.

29. The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples.

30. There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

31. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

32. Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death.

33. It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.

34. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

35. Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game.

36. The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air.

37. Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.

38. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it
is smiling).

39. Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself.”

40. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.

41. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

42. The average person laughs 13 times a day.

43. Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)

44. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

45. German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.

46. Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump.

47. Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.

48. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

49. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.

50. The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!

How Bacteria Nearly Destroyed All Life

This is a classic Damn Interesting article that originally appeared on 08 September 2006.

CyanobacteriaAbout two and one-half billion years ago, life on Earth was still in its infancy. Complex organisms such as plants and animals had not yet appeared, but the planet was teeming with microscopic bacteria which thrived in the temperate and nutrient-rich environment. Greenhouse methane lingered in the atmosphere and trapped the sun’s warmth, creating a climate very accommodating to the stew of microbes life that made their home on primitive Earth.

But a billion years of bacterial evolutionary progress was soon stunted by a catastrophic global event. Geologists find no signs of a great meteor impact nor a volcanic eruption, but they have uncovered the unmistakable geologic scars of rapid worldwide climate change. Average temperatures, which were previously comparable to our present climate, plummeted to minus 50 degrees Celsius and brought the planet into its first major ice age. This environmental shift triggered a massive die-off which threatened to extinguish all life on Earth, and paleoclimatologists have good reason to believe that this world-changing event was unwittingly caused by some of the planet’s own humble residents: bacteria.

The period in history is known as the Paleoproterozoic era, and prior to that time the Earth’s ecology and environment were significantly different. The iron-rich waters of the oceans lent them a green tint, and the atmosphere was comprised of gasses other than oxygen. Although oxygen atoms were abundant, such as those found in water molecules, unbound oxygen was extremely rare. The sea was host to a plethora of anaerobic microorganisms, but there were also a few members of a newly evolved variety: a blue-green algae known as cyanobacteria. These adapted bacteria were the first to use water and sunlight for photosynthesis, producing oxygen as a by-product of their metabolism.

The cyanobacteria were a struggling minority at first, but scientists believe that these new microbes began to dominate with the help of meltwater from a few glaciers scattered across the young continents. These glaciers spent centuries scraping across the Earth collecting minerals, ultimately depositing their rich nutrient payloads into the oceans. The cyanobacteria flourished in the presence of the increased minerals, and the rapidly growing population was soon venting increasingly large amounts of its poisonous waste oxygen into the environment.

At first the damage was limited to the oceans’ ecosystems. The underwater oxygen began to chemically react with the abundant iron, eventually scrubbing the seas clean of the element through oxidation. The oxidized iron settled to the ocean floor, and the oceans’ green tint began to fade. This series of developments was nothing short of an ecological disaster– oxygen was poisonous to most of primitive Earth’s inhabitants, and many bacteria relied on the iron as a nutrient.

Once the oceans’ supply of iron was exhausted, oxygen began to seep from the sea into the air. With very little competition for resources, cyanobacteria continued to proliferate and pollute. The free oxygen they produced reacted with the air, gradually breaking down the methane which kept the Earth’s atmosphere warm and accommodating. It took at least a hundred thousand years– a short duration in geological terms– but the Earth was eventually stripped of her methane, and with it her ability to store the heat from the sun. Temperatures fell well below freezing worldwide, and a thick layer of ice began to encase the oxygen-saturated planet.

Not even cyanobacteria were immune to the effects of this major ice age. The traits which had once given them such an evolutionary advantage were creating an environment which was completely inhospitable, even for themselves. As the centuries marched on, the surface became increasingly cold and frozen, with the ice at the equator eventually reaching up to one mile in thickness: Earth was an ice planet. Thermal vents on the ocean floor provided pockets where some resilient bacteria managed to survive, and certain organisms which lived underground were insulated from much of the destruction; but these reservoirs of life were scarce. Almost every living thing on Earth died as a result of this massive bacteria-induced climate change, an event known as the oxygen catastrophe.

As told by the Earth’s ancient rocks, the story of the Paleoproterozoic era is one of near-extinction for all life on the planet. The rocks that lined the ocean floor during that period are layered with oxidized iron… the remains of the iron that was removed by the oxygen. Layers from previous periods have no such banded iron formations. The fossilized microbes in the rocks are also indicative of violent climate change.

The survivors of the oxygen catastrophe eventually adapted to consume the abundant oxygen and produce carbon dioxide. This greenhouse gas very gradually made its way into the atmosphere, increasing in concentration and nudging temperatures back into the hospitable range over millions of years. Had temperatures been slightly colder during the first major ice age– if Earth had been in a slightly more distant orbit– the planet would have remained an icy wasteland because the carbon dioxide would have frozen solid before it could promote the greenhouse effect.Banded iron formation, caused by layers of oxidized iron Temperatures reached as low as minus 50 degrees Celsius, and carbon dioxide freezes into dry ice at minus 78 degrees. Indeed it seems that life on Earth was spared by a very tiny margin.

Today all life on the planet can trace its lineage back to those few microorganisms which survived the great dying of 2,500,000,000 BC, and now cyanobacteria are among the most common bacteria on Earth. In the billions of years since the first ice age, the environment has been dramatically altered on numerous occasions by greenhouse gases which trap heat; by shifting tectonic plates which reroute ocean currents; by our sun’s varying radiation levels; and by volcanic activity which alters the atmosphere. But at least once in Earth’s long history, its own occupants seem to have unwittingly brought all life to the brink of extinction. The sun is warmer now than it was then, so such a “Snowball Earth” is a bit less likely to occur… but the cautionary tale catalogued in ancient rocks warns us that the environment is certainly not impervious to the actions of those living in it.

Single joys By SANDRA LOW

Not every single woman is sad, lonely and desperate. In fact, she could be far happier than her married sisters who are saddled with childcare, in-laws, third parties or a spouse she never really loved.

YOU’RE such a great girl, how come you’re single? Won’t you feel lonely when you’re old and don’t have children to look after you? Don’t worry ... you’ll get married someday.”

Over the years, my single friends and I (we’re in our 20s and 40s) have noticed something peculiar: married people are deemed to have achieved something more than the “doomed” singles. It is as if their lives are somehow complete with a partner.

Never mind that some of these couples are cheating on each other, live lives filled with tension and drama, or continue to have children even though their marriage is shaky. All that matters to society is that they have tied the knot.

Then again, how can we blame anyone when we have movie heroes telling their lady love, “You complete me” (Tom Cruise to Renee Zellweger in Jerry McGuire). The message driven home is that men and women are incomplete unless they have a special someone in their lives.

American psychologist and author Florence Falk posed a question in her powerful book, On My Own: “How is it that even the most apparently self-assured woman feels inadequate without a man?”

Falk believes that, encouraged by society, all too many of us assume a woman alone must be miserable or, worse, deserves to be.

Happily married girlfriends hope that you’ll find the love of your life while those who are unhappily hitched (or have partners) will sigh, “How lucky you are to be single, with your freedom and peace of mind, minus the hassle and heartache.”

I decided long ago that until I meet someone who “completes me” in the way I feel is right for me, I will not hold my breath or make a decision based on economics, convenience or fear.

A very sensible thirtysomething girlfriend (who divorced and subsequently found real love) says there are two things in life that you should never trust – electronics and men. Once a woman embraces this mantra, she will find partial nirvana, she believes.

Another intuitive fortysomething who is in her second marriage launches annual reminders to single friends to not settle for less than what they expect. Because once you do, there is a price to pay.

On the other hand, there’s the twentysomething who tells me that she jumps from one relationship to another because she’s too terrified of being alone.

Seriously, there are marriages or partnerships in which the couples are clearly meant for each other and they live happily together. Then there are those that are a stark reminder to the single woman that she may not be missing much.

Why do women end up being single?

Sometimes it’s by choice; sometimes she has no choice. And, like it or not, destiny has a hand in this.

To quote Carrie Bradshaw in the romantic comedy Sex and the City, “Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”

Settling means accepting a partner who is less than what one strongly believes in, in terms of intellectual compatibility, sense of responsibility, habits, attitude, morality and maturity.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but if a woman settles solely because of her fears and insecurities, there will be consequences.

A woman may not choose to settle down because she does not want to make use of a man whom she likes but doesn’t love. Perhaps she hasn’t figured herself out yet. Or, she knows exactly what she does not want in a relationship!

Where we are in our lives and how we feel are a result of how deeply we’ve reflected and whether we have been honest – about who we are, what we want and what we can live with.

Being single is not a trouble-free journey, but the discerning woman knows that even if she is in a relationship, she is not exempt from feelings of isolation. So she relishes her independence even more.

Sure, the single woman can survive very well on her own. But what would she do for intimacy?

In today’s more liberal world, some “sign on” with friends with benefits, or adopt Woody Allen’s approach of, “I’m such a good lover because I practise a lot on my own.” The alternative is abstinence.

A thirtysomething single girlfriend who signed on with a friend with benefits reveals that their “relationship” is purely physical and confined to the bed; they never meet up or spend time together anywhere else.

Well, if that works for you, by all means. But if it doesn’t, heed what a wise woman once said: “You can never always have great sex, but you can always find a great massage.”

* Sandra has lost count of the men who lost her at hello, but she’s keeping an open heart and mind – even though she’s secretly infatuated with Joel Stein.

Oprah's poem about men

Oprah wrote this about men...

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think, "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.
Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
"You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. "
Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him
- he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.